Thursday, September 16, 2010

Random thoughts on friends and making friends

A casual evening at the local Chandler Starbucks, and a chance glance at two friends enjoying their coffee and time together had me suddenly missing all my friends. Well, it had always been at the back of the mind and just came to the forefront on noticing them. So this post is dedicated to all my friends back in India and elsewhere whom I so dearly miss. It also marks a blog after a long time and that too at 1.13 in the morning much to the shock (or amusement ?) of a sleepy husband.

Friends, for me, have luckily been people, with whom I can talk anything and everything, without any pretence, at anytime, without feeling distant even after n zillion years of not communicating ... Yet there are others - just acquaintances with whom also I could have gone the same way, had not something unknown to me(us?) changed our paths or views or outlooks so far much that now even a casual facebook or a scrap remains quite formal and often unanswered... On giving a little thought to it, I feel it results from the following reasons in varied combinations: lack of communication, lack of common interest, petering out of mutual interest in each other's progress and welfare, and probably different expectations from each other as friends. Realising this, I have resolved from this moment to atleast eliminate/reduce the first point & third point as far as is possible from my side. The rest I can't fully predict or influence! I began implementing that resolve with immediately calling up a few of my close friends and hesitating to disturb others due to time zone differences. These actions, I hope will result in more sweet memories with my cherished friends circle. Thats with regard to my existing friendships made in Chennai, Pune, and Mumbai.

With regard to new friends, it is indeed difficult to make new friends when your social circle is as limited as mine, given that I am in a new country and that too mostly at home. It leads me to the next realisation that it is indeed difficult to make friends with all those you meet, even if those acquaintances are all that you have. Further, as a couple, the combined dynamics become even more important thus complicating things with joint probability! The dynamics come not only from normal chemistry or wavelength between the friend couples, but also the family stage (dink or sink vs dik or sik). These influence amongst others the topics, the sociable time and how one ends up feeling after repeating such interactions multiple times. Despite all of this there are still friends that one will and does make and those are again people I wish to treasure forever.

I just hope to find more such gems of friends in and around my neighbourhood, since I really miss hanging out with each of you be it at the mall, in the library, at a restaurant, at the movies, by the beach or even at home... I really didn't want this to be a sentimental post and hope it doesn't end up being one, so on a light hearted note - cheers to you and your friends you hold close to you:)


CK said...

Keep blogging a lot more frequently. Your blogs are always nice to read :)

Rohini said...

very honest and frank; keep writing whenever you find time

shark_surfs said...

@CK thanks :) @amma :)thanks:)

kiruthik said...

yes, and its true that getting some1 very close in a new place is difficult.

Rose said...

So what are your findings?
Did you call the friends?
Sometimes the distance is in the hearts, not the miles.