Monday, May 25, 2009

Why dread Dr Deeee ?

If there's anything in the world I am most paranoid about apart from the usual suspects (cockroaches/lizards /snakes) it has to be ,ahem, a dentist (Dr Deeee as I call them) :P ..

A rare general visit to the dentist for tips on oral hygiene resulted in the revelation of some childhood enemies - budding cavities ... I thought I was done with cavities and the dentists after years of torture during my childhood. Well definitely so if you like yours truly have had cavities since kindergarden and your milk teeth were so strongly rooted and loyal they refused to fall off without human or rather inhuman intervention. Over the years had perfected the phobia for dentists and screamed my lungs out to empty their clinics as they merely approached me with the least intrusive of ammunition from their artillery of sharp pointed instruments. Well it was time to conquer the phobia... It did help that the dentist was really an angel and has been patient with the fillings till now so much so went for back to back sessions every evening on Thursday, Friday and Saturday and also got a very cooperative patient compliment... He he.. my old dentist must be scratching his head in disbelief.. :) .. Well how did I conquer it : For one thought of a friend who had a root canal done and said that must have been worse, second - stared at the tubelight over head, third - thought of the most amusing things one could ever at a dentist's chair (without upsetting the dentist at work) and last considered it a game :) .....

It also does help if your dentist is a kind hearted angel who resembles one of your favourite cousins :) ... Still am hoping against hopes that I dont need to repeat this ever or long enough :)

However there is one poem by Ogden Nash on dentists that I love from the school days :) ... Its so true :) Quoting it here for your amusement (have mentioned in italics the lines I love the most):

One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with my mouth wide open.

And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopan.

Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,

But the one that is both is dental.

It is hard to be self possessed

With your jaw digging into your chest, so hard to retain calm

When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line or love line or some other important line in your palm,

So hard to give your usual cheerful effect of benignity

When you know your position is one of the two or three in life most lacking in dignity

And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on

And it is cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and drills and steam rollers and there isn't a nerve on your head that aren't being irked on.

Oh some people are unfortunate to be worked on by thumbs,

And others have things done to their gums,

And your teeth are supposed to being polished

But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.

And the circumstances that adds to your terror

Is that it's all done with a mirror,

Because the dentist may be a bear, or as the Romans used to say, only they were referring to a feminine bear when they said it, an ursa,

But all the same how can you be sure when he takes his crowbar in one hand and mirror in the other he won't get mixed up, the way you do when try to tie a bow tie with the aid of a mirror, and forget that left is right and vice versa

And then at last he says, That will be all, but it isn't because he then coats your mouth from cellar to roof

With something I suspect is generally used to put shine a horse's hoof,

And you totter to your feet and think, Well it's over now and after all it was only this once,

And he says come back in three monce.

And this O Fate, is I think the most vicious that thou ever sentest,

That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition

When the chief reason he wants his teeth to be in good condition is so that he won't have to go the dentist.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Reality or Reelity

My recent laptop crisis had me switch loyalties to television for a short while. This as well as the wee hours of the day 0.00 hrs to 1.00 hrs had me do prolonged channel surfing. Have realised that Reality shows have possibly become the saas bahu soap equivalent for the Indian youth and may be even families. Be it MTM with Roadies, Splitsvilla, [V] with its Launch pad, the Hindi channels with their dance shows, singing shows, or even the regional channels with their own versions of the same, and even I think some tam channel that had one for selecting CSK cheerleaders!
Most reality shows fall into the buckets of Makeovers, Celebrity based formats, Adventure based Games based, Talent Hunts, Job Hunts, and Dating shows. Normally do not watch any of these on a consistent basis. Hate dance shows, and can just about tolerate the rest or enjoy a rare episode once i a blue moon. Managed to catch the ones on MTV over the last two weekends over not so sleepy saturday nights and realised some truths about the ones on MTV atleast:
  1. Reality shows are about bitching big time
  2. They are about showing the politics, and emphasize the dark side, & scheming nature/dumbness of the participants
  3. Its about good looking people being lunatic and immature at best and calling others the same while proclaiming how blunt/straight/truthful they really are
  4. Tears, tempers and bad words flow easily
  5. Cameras are just placed at the oportune time & place to capture it all
  6. The women on the programme are potrayed as helpless, dumb or wicked
Have been wondering why people would participate in these shows and came up with these:
  1. nothing better to do
  2. good chance to become a vj/anchor or a celebrity or a model
  3. goodies from the show sponsors
  4. can be themselves or at least pretend to childish, loud, rash and immature for maximum impact and get paid for it if they win
  5. different lifestyle for sometime
  6. wear good clothes and be chic on tv..
So why watch it ? hmmmn.. its better than the saas bahu soaps for sure - atleast better costumes and looks :P.. its mindless, the foul words could come handy & ya it makes a good conversation piece as a college kid possibly...

For me seeing the programmes is about mindless diversion & an ego a boost - well my life seems less purposeless than theirs :P ... Atleast I am thinking about mine , they are way off from even realising it possibly.. :P

Anyways resolved for now to ensure no consistent watching - its way too mad for digestion :P. Gonna limit it to getting over saturday late-night's boredom till I find a better way...

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Pigeons ! the bird family strikes again ...

Well if crows weren't enough in their public display of lack of affection here come their cousins the pigeons! (refer my earlier post on crows) I have woken up to the fact that the pigeons have taken up all but one window sil of my humble abode. A couple sleeps on the grill above the clothes line (in one window) every night and hop around with their friends during the day on the same grill. Between them they spread their droppings on the grills, window panes and my freshly washed clothes if left out for drying for more than one day! Another couple like upsetting the freshly wash bottles and plates kept for drying on the other window sil, leaving their mark on them and then sleeping there. The queen among all of these is the one who sleeps in a plastic bag on the third window along with an egg possibly (considering the fact that she does it for the entire day) despite my thuds on the glass panes and menacing looks! Currently regret not having removed the bag from the window at the first sight of droppings on it ! So am now reduced to shooing both the couples whenever possible and giving non-violent menacing frosty nosed stares at the plastic cover homed pigeon apart from praying that they find greener pastuers soon.