Monday, May 25, 2009

Why dread Dr Deeee ?

If there's anything in the world I am most paranoid about apart from the usual suspects (cockroaches/lizards /snakes) it has to be ,ahem, a dentist (Dr Deeee as I call them) :P ..

A rare general visit to the dentist for tips on oral hygiene resulted in the revelation of some childhood enemies - budding cavities ... I thought I was done with cavities and the dentists after years of torture during my childhood. Well definitely so if you like yours truly have had cavities since kindergarden and your milk teeth were so strongly rooted and loyal they refused to fall off without human or rather inhuman intervention. Over the years had perfected the phobia for dentists and screamed my lungs out to empty their clinics as they merely approached me with the least intrusive of ammunition from their artillery of sharp pointed instruments. Well it was time to conquer the phobia... It did help that the dentist was really an angel and has been patient with the fillings till now so much so went for back to back sessions every evening on Thursday, Friday and Saturday and also got a very cooperative patient compliment... He he.. my old dentist must be scratching his head in disbelief.. :) .. Well how did I conquer it : For one thought of a friend who had a root canal done and said that must have been worse, second - stared at the tubelight over head, third - thought of the most amusing things one could ever at a dentist's chair (without upsetting the dentist at work) and last considered it a game :) .....

It also does help if your dentist is a kind hearted angel who resembles one of your favourite cousins :) ... Still am hoping against hopes that I dont need to repeat this ever or long enough :)

However there is one poem by Ogden Nash on dentists that I love from the school days :) ... Its so true :) Quoting it here for your amusement (have mentioned in italics the lines I love the most):

One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with my mouth wide open.

And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopan.

Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,

But the one that is both is dental.

It is hard to be self possessed

With your jaw digging into your chest, so hard to retain calm

When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line or love line or some other important line in your palm,

So hard to give your usual cheerful effect of benignity

When you know your position is one of the two or three in life most lacking in dignity

And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on

And it is cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and drills and steam rollers and there isn't a nerve on your head that aren't being irked on.

Oh some people are unfortunate to be worked on by thumbs,

And others have things done to their gums,

And your teeth are supposed to being polished

But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.

And the circumstances that adds to your terror

Is that it's all done with a mirror,

Because the dentist may be a bear, or as the Romans used to say, only they were referring to a feminine bear when they said it, an ursa,

But all the same how can you be sure when he takes his crowbar in one hand and mirror in the other he won't get mixed up, the way you do when try to tie a bow tie with the aid of a mirror, and forget that left is right and vice versa

And then at last he says, That will be all, but it isn't because he then coats your mouth from cellar to roof

With something I suspect is generally used to put shine a horse's hoof,

And you totter to your feet and think, Well it's over now and after all it was only this once,

And he says come back in three monce.

And this O Fate, is I think the most vicious that thou ever sentest,

That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition

When the chief reason he wants his teeth to be in good condition is so that he won't have to go the dentist.


CK said...

Now I know why I've not seen you online post your Tuesday exam. Remember that poem very well, I guess it was one of the few that I could easily relate to at school level considering all of us had been through the dental nightmare at some stage in those 12 years :).

PRK said...

Bulls eye i should say :D....
this is one poem which i can relate to !!!!

what does Ogden nash refer to in this??
Because the dentist may be a bear, or as the Romans used to say, only they were referring to a feminine bear when they said it, an ursa,

shark_surfs said...

He he :) ..
@ CK absolutely adored and related to this poem at school...Think we had Meenakshi maam at that time - and it was more fun reading that in her class:) ...
@ Prk The line simply compares the dentist's action to that of a bear and
refers to the Latin (which Romans would use) name for a female bear
"Ursa". The objective is to make the dentist sound more treacherous than he actually is :)

Samira said...

Oye, unbelievable!!! This has to be the mother of all coincidences!
Guess wat, im in the line of fire, as well!!!! Err, i meant, in the line of the drills, excavators, scalors, chisels & watever else my horrid dentist uses on my poor harmless teeth. And to add to my misery, its not just 1 cavity but 3!!!!! Guess it was all the choc avalanches at Mocha with u guys that did the damage!
Well, my frnd, so to cut a long story short, ur not alone in this misery!! Having been done there and done that and still being there and still doing it, i completely empathize and sympathize with u! err, am not sure wat gibberish im writing but blame it on the cavities!!
Take care n BE BRAVE!Hum honge kamyab ek din:)
Lotsa luv,